Chaos In A Bottle

I watch people. It’s true – I don’t necessarily LIKE them a lot, but I watch them. In person, online, on television. And sure shooting, they’ve ended up in my novel. And my blog.

I’ve written a ton of non-fiction in my time, because that’s what I got paid for. Ever read a blog post on choosing an RV refrigerator? I probably wrote that. How about the history of cufflinks? I probably wrote that, too. I wrote a lot of boring, boring stuff. Really boring. Like – falling asleep over my keyboard after a pot of coffee boring.

Seriously. It was hard, ya’ll. You don’t even know.

But I switched the focus to fiction, even though it pays less (as in nada till I get it sold), and I’m a lot happier. And more awake. And I’m finding that the people watching I do is paying off in terms of fodder for the keyboard. Sad for you if you were one of them, but chances are you don’t know me or read this, so it’s probably cool.

Surprisingly in this day and time, my own life is fairly devoid of drama. I like it like that. I get up, I throw words at paper, I school my kiddo, I pick up heavy things and put them down, and at night, I get to curl up next to the Big Guy. He occasionally kicks and snores, but I love him so much I just don’t care. And he’s really warm. I think I’ll keep him. The thing is, when your life is devoid of drama, you get a nice, clear view of all the drama AROUND you, and then your writer brain kicks in if you’re a writer, and boom. And since I do this blogging thing basically to keep my gears lubricated, there you go.

The funny stuff you read, yeah, that happened. ‘Cause I’m not good at writing funny stuff and I can’t make that crap up to save my life. My political statements, and posts on things like Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day? You should take those seriously, because I can do serious if I try really hard and fortify myself with chocolate. The rest of it? I’ve got notes on drama that would keep me writing till mid-2087. Ya’ll need Jesus. I’m not even joking.

Don’t get crazy, now. Sit down, maybe stretch a bit. Warm up first.

Yeah, it’s been forever and a day since I’ve posted. I’d like to say all sort of really cool and exciting things happened, but in reality it was pretty much just life, and y’all know how that goes. And goes. And goes. Bri starting college, R. starting co-op for ASL, Bri DRIVING HER OWN CAR . . . excuse me, I need a drink before I can finish that thought.

Still writing. Yes, that book.  And another one, which is slowly taking precedence because, well, it just is, and because the men it concerns are total unrecognized heroes, and since it’s my brain I can slop it out however I want. Or not. Yes, it’s taking forever. I DON’T CARE, as long as I get it DONE. There’s research, y’all, and stuff, and actual things, and . . . So.

Summer came and went, Autumn came and went, Christmas came and went, New Year’s came and went, and I’m still here.  Still writing.  Still keeping on keeping on.  I’m surprisingly ok with that. I’m in a better place personally than I was this time last year, I believe, and as long as I can say that I’m happier with me and mine than I was before, I have to think things are going ok.

I’ve made some exceptional friends. EXCEPTIONAL friends. These people make my life better in so many ways I can’t even begin to list them out, and probably shouldn’t, because you might take things the wrong way, or go “hey, why aren’t I on there”, and if you say that you probably should be and my overloaded brain just forgot to include you, and I’m really sorry, but it’s my blog, so suck it up. It’s like you don’t even know me.

AND – there’s another project on the horizon, that I haven’t quite finished working out the details of yet, and it’s a joint issue with some amazingly hot, smart, sassy women and an amazingly amazing guy and I don’t know how I ended up in this particular company except that it was sort of my idea, except not totally, and when it rolls out you’ll see. I think you’ll like it. If you don’t, you might be a communist.

On Twitter, it’s #MilitaryMonday, so I did want to give a shout out to some of my very favorite folks who are currently serving, or have served, in defense of our country. On a day when we watched the official swearing in of a man determined to undermine our Constitutional freedoms, it seemed right to mention these people. I’m proud to call them friends, and humbled by their service.

Alex, Brian, Brough, Craig, David, Jeff, Keaton, Matt C., Matt P., Mekala P., Scott, Sean, Shawn C., Steve C., Steve H. – thank you.  From the bottom of my heart – thank you.

I wish I could say that I make a living off of this blog, because it’s made of awesome, but I don’t.  Not yet, anyway, even though I have fantasies where I become an instant writing success and can stop driving my 1999 Astro Van.

Anyway, I write for an outsourcing company; I write articles on all sorts of stuff for other folks to post on their blogs or sites.  I’m so made of awesome I’m a commodity, ya’ll!

Thing is, I end up writing on some fabulous topics.  I finished 60 articles on vaginal infections.  I know more about infected hoo-has than any GYN on the planet, which rocked hard except not at all, and I had to do a series on better toilets in the United Kingdom, which reminds me to stay out of toilets in the UK, ’cause now I know what they’re apparently like.  I’ll have to dig a latrine hole on the moors somewhere if I ever get to go to the UK, which won’t happen until my blogging makes me famous, and then they won’t let me in the country because I dissed their restrooms, and I’ll have to spend my entire vacation at Heathrow.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful for the work, and hey, I’m getting paid to write, so even if it’s not about awesomeness like zombies, it’s still writing.  So until I’m famous, you can hit me up for article writing greatness.  Once I’m famous, I don’t know any of you. Except my family, ’cause they’re the only ones that put up with me.

P.S. – Why in the name of all that’s holy does Google put ads for plastic bottles up on this post??  Was it the comment about infected vajayjays??