Lifepocalypse

3

Posted on : 20-Jun-2011 | By : Amber | In : Dogs, general complaining, married life, parenting brilliance, Rambling rambles, Teenagers, zombies

So, I’d like to say that the reason I haven’t updated in oh, ever, is because I’ve been doing Really Exciting and Wild Things ™, but in fact, I’ve just been lazy. Sue me – it’s not like I get PAID to write this stuff. Contact me about doing ads on this blog and we’ll talk.

Instead of doing R.E.&W.T. ™ , I’ve been doing stuff like the following:

Threw a ball for Archer the Wonder Dog to catch, but instead he hit it with his nose and it flew back and clobbered me in the head.

Watched my eldest go to her first prom, and nearly died because (a) she’s gorgeous and (b) I’m old.

I am in so much trouble, being this one\’s mother…

 

Still not feeling better about my parenting chances here…

Wrote not nearly enough about zombies and way too many tweets.

Became addicted to The Glee Project, because not only do I watch Glee with the sort of rabid intensity I usually save for scifi and chocolate, I am apparently a sucker for people younger and prettier than myself who have so much talent it hurts. If you’re wondering, I’m pulling for Damian McGinty.

Damian McGinty

Yeah, I wanna see this guy on GLEE.

Realized that all the shows I usually watch are now in hiatus, got very sad, and then realized that Eureka is about to come back for the summer, and got glad again.

Remembered that the next installment of Gail Garriger’s The Parasol Protectorate series is due out very, very soon, and became rather giddy.

Bought Argent Vite by my dear friend Kaye and devoured it in a day. It’s available via Lulu and iBooks, and you should all go out and read it. Right now. Go on. I’ll wait.

Planted growing things in my gardens, realized I hadn’t bought enough of them to do the job, and since I’d already cleared out the OLD things for the NEW things, my flowerbeds look like they have alopecia. I guess that’s ok, though, since that matches my lawn. I rock so hard.

Tried to convince my guy that I could use a pet dryer for things other than drying Archer the Wonder Dog after his bath. The thing is, I actually COULD, but he’s not buying it – the story or the dryer. Why did I ever think practicality was an attractive quality in a man?? It’s a good thing he’s hot, that’s all I’m sayin’.

So – yeah. How did this become my life again?

P.S. – after proofing this for me, Patrick thinks everyone will believe that all I do is watch television and that our life stinks. Ya’ll know better than that – I eat and bathe occasionally, too. Take that, Patrick.

P.P.S. – if you’re just leaving a comment here because it’ll get you more traffic and better ratings with Google, then you need to go away. I actually READ the comments before I approve them, and if you’re putting up things like “this article had great informations can you tell me more?” while coding 482 links to Russian porn into the comment, you’re not going to get approved. Don’t try to sell stuff on my blog, ya’ll. I don’t even do that.

I totally get Mom-Of-The-Year, ya’ll

3

Posted on : 17-Sep-2010 | By : Amber | In : married life, parenting brilliance, Rambling rambles, Teenagers

I mean it. I totally rock as a mom. Listen to this:

So, my oldest daughter and I are giving the baby (that we babysit, not that I actually HAD, ’cause the last baby I had is now eight, and that would be weird) a bath, and she informs me that she needs a big brain bleach, because she couldn’t get to sleep last night because of MY BED CREAKING.

I got busted by my kid. Oops.

Ok, so I’m not gonna apologize, ’cause, really, why should I apologize for having a good, um, intimate relationship with my guy, and I’m caught between being embarrassed and being sorta smug, and yeah, smug wins out. Which, to my mind, makes me mom-of-the-year.

Look at how many people have screwed-up ideas on how marriages and intimate relations work, and I’m showing my daughter, showing, mind you, in an INDIRECT and totally UNKNOWING way, that after a long time that part of my life is still active and good. I think that is a pretty awesome thing for her to know, that monogamy doesn’t mean boring or monotonous and that as a couple her dad and I have a relationship that’s strong and vital and pretty darn good.

To continue the lesson, I will be attaching one of these to the bottom of my bed:

Cowbell

Cowbell – for all your noise-making needs

P.S. I just remembered that my parents read this, too. Oh, well – did they think their grandkids came from the cabbage patch??