Posted on : 08-Mar-2015 | By : Amber | In : So..., Stuff I care about and you should, Very Important Things

So, I’ve noticed that there’s a movement, at least on YouTube, called #DearMe, where people write a letter to their younger selves.  Some of it’s funny, some of it’s poignant, and while I’ve done it myself recently, I thought I might revisit the idea.

Dear Me:

I’m writing this to the me-in-the-past (I’m not saying how far in the past, because it really doesn’t matter, and I have some vanity left) to tell you something about relationships. In particular, a relationship you’re going to get involved in, and what me-in-the-present needs you to know so that, maybe, you think twice.

See, there’s a big, BIG difference between boys-with-beards and men. You’re going to find this out, because you’re going to think a boy-with-beard is actually a man, and you’re going to find out differently.  I thought I’d point out a few of the differences to you, and maybe it’ll help you along the way.

A BWB (boy with beard, yanno) will talk a big game, but a man will put action to words.  Oh, that BWB is going to say lots of pretty words, like “I’ll keep you till there’s nothing left in our future but sunsets and rocking chairs”, but he’s not going to DO anything about it.  It’s too much trouble. He’ll tell you how he was burned, how he’s been hurt and can’t love, but the cold fact of the matter is he doesn’t want to put in the effort to love YOU. Harsh, but true.

A BWB will talk about his ambitions. A lot. He’ll give you all sorts of reasons why he’s not there YET, but he’s gonna be. A man doesn’t talk about his ambitions.  He chases them. If he tries and fails, he doesn’t tell you that it didn’t work out because of politics, or economics, or the powers that be upstairs that dislike him.  He will simply fall back, adapt, and overcome, and he won’t tell everyone along the way.

A BWB will tell you that he wants to protect you, take care of you, that you won’t want for anything – except, apparently, loyalty or someone with the courage to fight for you, because those things he won’t provide.  A man will protect your heart like it is the most precious treasure he’s ever been given – because it is. He won’t play games with it. He won’t lean on you for support and then fade away when YOU need HIM. He’ll be the rock you always needed. He’ll be your safe place to land.

That’s the bad news.  The good news? After that BWB has torn a big hole in you, a MAN will come along who will be with you while you put yourself back together. He’ll tell you you’re beautiful, and his eyes will tell you he MEANS it. He’ll hold you when you’re falling apart, and it’s because he sticks with you when you’re at your worst that he deserves you at your best. He’ll make you feel beautiful, desirable, and most of all VALUABLE, and you’ll never feel safer than you do in his arms. He’ll have a natural dominance that calls to your submission, he’ll make you laugh, and he’ll make you so grateful that the BWB is out of the way, because if he hadn’t been, you wouldn’t have seen this. And this – this is so much more than you ever thought it could be.

Oh – he’s exponentially hotter than the other guy, too.  Just so you know. Like – whoa.

So hang in there, me-in-the-past. It’s about to get a whole lot better.